"I Don’t Have the Energy to Pretend" Kitchen Towel
☕ ZERO ENERGY. ZERO FILTER. ZERO REGRETS.
Give your kitchen the attitude it deserves with this premium waffle weave towel, featuring the brutally honest and totally relatable quote: “I Don’t Have the Energy to Pretend to Like You Today.” Perfect for socially drained introverts, coffee-first humans, and chronic eye-rollers, this towel is here to dry dishes and shut down small talk in one go.
Whether you’re gifting it to a friend, a sarcastic coworker, or hanging it next to your espresso machine, this is the kitchen accessory for anyone who can’t even—and doesn’t want to.
💬 WHY YOU’LL LOVE IT:
• Blunt, Relatable Humor – A+ for sarcasm, F- for social energy
• Waffle Weave Microfiber – Soft, super absorbent, and quick to dry
• Won’t Fade or Peel – Made with permanent sublimation ink that lasts
• Makes a Statement – Adds a hilarious, no-nonsense vibe to any kitchen
🎁 PERFECT GIFT FOR:
• Introverts, Coffee Lovers & Sarcasm Addicts
• Birthday Gifts, Housewarming, or Just Because
• Tired Moms, Witty Friends & Over-It Coworkers
• Anyone Who’s Out of Energy and Fresh Outta F’s
😴 MOOD: AVOIDING HUMANS & DRYING DISHES
Add this towel to your cart before someone tries to make small talk.
☕ ZERO ENERGY. ZERO FILTER. ZERO REGRETS.
Give your kitchen the attitude it deserves with this premium waffle weave towel, featuring the brutally honest and totally relatable quote: “I Don’t Have the Energy to Pretend to Like You Today.” Perfect for socially drained introverts, coffee-first humans, and chronic eye-rollers, this towel is here to dry dishes and shut down small talk in one go.
Whether you’re gifting it to a friend, a sarcastic coworker, or hanging it next to your espresso machine, this is the kitchen accessory for anyone who can’t even—and doesn’t want to.
💬 WHY YOU’LL LOVE IT:
• Blunt, Relatable Humor – A+ for sarcasm, F- for social energy
• Waffle Weave Microfiber – Soft, super absorbent, and quick to dry
• Won’t Fade or Peel – Made with permanent sublimation ink that lasts
• Makes a Statement – Adds a hilarious, no-nonsense vibe to any kitchen
🎁 PERFECT GIFT FOR:
• Introverts, Coffee Lovers & Sarcasm Addicts
• Birthday Gifts, Housewarming, or Just Because
• Tired Moms, Witty Friends & Over-It Coworkers
• Anyone Who’s Out of Energy and Fresh Outta F’s
😴 MOOD: AVOIDING HUMANS & DRYING DISHES
Add this towel to your cart before someone tries to make small talk.
☕ ZERO ENERGY. ZERO FILTER. ZERO REGRETS.
Give your kitchen the attitude it deserves with this premium waffle weave towel, featuring the brutally honest and totally relatable quote: “I Don’t Have the Energy to Pretend to Like You Today.” Perfect for socially drained introverts, coffee-first humans, and chronic eye-rollers, this towel is here to dry dishes and shut down small talk in one go.
Whether you’re gifting it to a friend, a sarcastic coworker, or hanging it next to your espresso machine, this is the kitchen accessory for anyone who can’t even—and doesn’t want to.
💬 WHY YOU’LL LOVE IT:
• Blunt, Relatable Humor – A+ for sarcasm, F- for social energy
• Waffle Weave Microfiber – Soft, super absorbent, and quick to dry
• Won’t Fade or Peel – Made with permanent sublimation ink that lasts
• Makes a Statement – Adds a hilarious, no-nonsense vibe to any kitchen
🎁 PERFECT GIFT FOR:
• Introverts, Coffee Lovers & Sarcasm Addicts
• Birthday Gifts, Housewarming, or Just Because
• Tired Moms, Witty Friends & Over-It Coworkers
• Anyone Who’s Out of Energy and Fresh Outta F’s
😴 MOOD: AVOIDING HUMANS & DRYING DISHES
Add this towel to your cart before someone tries to make small talk.
📐 PRODUCT DETAILS:
• Size: Approx. 16” x 28” (some variation may occur)
• Material: Waffle weave microfiber
• Design: Front side only with vibrant, permanent sublimation ink (no vinyl, no peeling, no fading)
• Reverse Side: White
• Care Instructions: Machine washable, tumble dry low
• Packaging: Beautifully packaged and ready to gift 🎁
🎨 COLOR DISCLAIMER:
Due to various monitor settings, colors may appear slightly different in person than
on your screen. I do my best to ensure the images are as accurate as possible.
